‘And You Should Feel Bad!’ 20 Hysterical Dr. Zoidberg ‘Futurama’ Quotes

10.23.14 4 years ago 33 Comments
Dr. John Zoidberg, “M”D. is quite possibly the funniest character on Futurama. You probably quote him at least ten times a day, and if you don’t, you should. Now then, let’s take a look at 20 immortal quotes from everyone’s favorite medical crab.

1. “Your music’s bad and you should feel bad!”
From “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings,” giving Fry the cold hard truth when his opera goes south without his magical robot devil hands.

2. “I’m swelling with patriotic mucus!”
From “A Taste Of Freedom,” when he gets a little too into the Freedom Day celebration.

3. “By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.”
From “Where The Buggalo Roam,” when he had no problem making himself at home at the Wong Ranch.

4. “You’ll never guess where I’ve been!”
From “Parasites Lost,” when the Planet Express crew is inside Fry’s body, and he emerges riding a giant… well, you know.

5. “I saw a frilly cake in here you’d remember all your life. I know I will. Every night it haunts me with its frosted beauty. Order the cake, dammit!”
From “Bend Her,” when he’s planning Bender (as Coilette) and Calculon’s wedding, and one cake really catches his eye.

6. “On margin! Zoidey wanna buy on margin!”
From “The Day The Earth Stood Stupid,” when a momentarily stupefied Zoidberg forgets the cause of the 1929 stock market crash.

7. “Two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could afford the one, and the car.”
From “Insane In The Mainframe,” slowly realizing just how useless his Planet Express anniversary gift is.

8. “Ah, there’s nothing like the first cup of dumpster juice in the morning!”
From “Stench And Stenchibility,” starting his day the right way as always.

9. “Why always the fighting?”
From “Bender Gets Made,” after shot full of whatever the 31st Century equivalent of morphine is makes him perfectly sedate.

10. “Congratulations! I assume Amy is the father.”
From “The Problem Is Popplers,” when a fully-grown poppler calls Leela “mama.” Remember, he’s an expert on humans, not robits.

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