Behold, The Fully Evolved Interoffice Birthday Card In All Its Glory

As someone who logged in more cubicle time in a previous life than I care to think about, coworker birthdays were an especially excruciating affair where an impersonal birthday card would get passed around and you’re passive aggressively coerced into writing some disingenuous variation of “best wishes” when your real sentiment is more along the lines of “run like hell before you die here.”

So it’s with great pleasure that I help spread to the masses the next evolution of interoffice birthday cards. A Redditor shared this just hours ago with the caption, “It’s my boyfriend’s birthday today. This is card he received from his work colleagues…”

In case you’re wondering, she’s not sure if the second Joe is him or there’s another Joe in the office, but I think — based on the format — it’s safe to assume her boyfriend is just really into wishing himself all the best on his birthday. I hear Peter was traveling for business. Steve F. though. What a prick, that guy.

Via Reddit