Brad And Angelina Made A No Sex Scenes Vow

Imagine that Mozart and Tupac never died, and at some point along the way, they decided to collaborate on an album that was decent, I guess, but didn’t really deliver what everyone would have expected from two of the world’s greatest geniuses in their respective genres. So while all of their fans kept hoping that they’d team up again and make something bigger and better, they didn’t. To make matters worse, not only are they not collaborating, but they’ve also agreed to not team up with any other musical artists, so everyone basically loses.

I’m not really sure where I was going with that analogy, but it was the best I could come up with on a Friday evening as I try to explain just how monumental it is that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have reportedly vowed to not take part in any sex scenes with other actors in any of their future movies. It’s just a really sad day for men and women alike.

Brad’s close friend, furniture designer Frank Pollaro has told Esquire magazine that the couple have promised each other they will not film sex scenes with anybody else.

Frank said: “Once I walked in and Angie was standing there and Zahara [their daughter] walked up and said, ‘Daddy, you’re not going to start making out with Mommy again, are you?’ And it’s like that.

“This is a guy who has tried not to do any sexy scenes with other women since he’s met Angelina. He’s crazy about her, and she’s the same way about him.” (Via Yahoo! UK)

I know it says “anybody else” but I assume that based on the anecdote about Zahara, Brad and Angelina have already ruled out another angry kitchen makeup sex romp like they had in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Maybe I’m wrong, though, and they just haven’t picked the right project yet. I just hope it’s not the Carmen Sandiego movie, because that would seem inappropriate.

So go ahead and pack these GIFs up and send them to the Louvre, because they’re artifacts now.