There have been countless shows about twentysomethings and the struggles of starting out life, usually in the big city. However, few are as honest about life in your twenties as Broad City is. Sure, you probably (hopefully) don’t have a roommate who sh*ts in your guests’ shoes during a storm nor do you eat garbage bagels on the regular, but these down but not out New Yorkers are certainly a more realistic portrayal of early adulthood than the spacious apartment and endless wardrobe having characters that one normally finds on TV.
Creators and stars Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer are a manic and hilarious duo, and in just two short seasons, they’ve truly captured millennial life in all of its vibrant and sometimes disgusting glory. So, the next time you find yourself stashing your weed in bodily orifices or being a little too enthusiastic about the glories of Bed, Bath and Beyond, let Abbi and Ilana be your guides through the uncertainty of burgeoning adulthood (actually, don’t do that… ever). Crank up “Edge of Glory” and dance it out. You deserve it.
“I was so worried that I baked a whole cake. And then I ate a whole cake.” — Lincoln
Everyone has their own way of managing stress. Some people exercise, some people shop, and some people eat. Apparently Lincoln eats. While baking can indeed be therapeutic, eating an entire cake in one sitting isn’t recommended. Your stomach and your waistline will not thank you.
“What is your return policy?” — Abbi
“It’s 30 days.” — Cashier
“Great, I’ll see you in 30 days then….biiiiiiiiiiitch.” — Abbi
We’ve all bought things that we can’t afford. Sure, your credit card may weep the next morning, but sometimes you need that amazing dress. However, a good rule of thumb is to be out of earshot before you plan your questionable embrace of return policies.
“I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.” — Abbi
The cake thing still holds true, but a little candy never hurt anyone. Especially when you’re high as f*ck. When you’re totally broke and struggling to figure things out, candy can be your salvation.
“It’s 2014. Anal is on the menu.” — Ilana
Modern dating is hard (phrasing!). It’s good to have a friend who you can commiserate with as you face the Tinder hellscape, especially someone as insane as Ilana. You may make some terrible choices, but at least you’ll get a good story about it.
“The vagina is nature’s pocket. It’s natural and responsible.” — Ilana
Ilana may be irresponsible, but she is always resourceful. This is a classic example of using what you’ve got, snobbiness be damned. If someone is too good to smoke weed who has been in your vagina, you probably shouldn’t be smoking weed with them in the first place.
“Where isn’t the bathroom?!” — Pam the Realtor
Everyone has had that moment when you are faced with a dire living situation. Especially if you live in a city, sometimes you have to live in a real craphole when you’re flung from the nest. This is just a classic part of growing up, which you will have to remind yourself of when you’re living in a glorified closet with three roommates and countless bugs.
“Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons never expire.” — Abbi
Bed, Bath and Beyond sort of acts like a gateway to the trappings of adulthood. Even when you feel like an imposter, because there is no reason for you to actually purchase a food processor, strolling down aisle after aisle of stuff for the home you might someday buy (but probably won’t because the market is bust — thanks, baby boomers!) can give you a sense of the materialism that comes with American adulthood.
“The four Rs, my friend: reduce, reuse, recycle, Rihanna.” — Ilana
Ilana should never be put in charge of children. Ever. However, this is great advice to live by: take care of the environment, but also listen to some sweet bangers while you’re saving the world. Honestly, this is some of the tamer advice that Ilana has given over the course of two seasons and a web series, so this could have gone much, much worse.
“I’m an adult. I should be buying my own pot.” — Abbi
Everyone has their own moment when they feel like an actual adult. Other generations often criticize millennials for their prolonged adolescence, but at least we have goals. They may be less than worthy goals, but at least they’re goals.
“This… is the happiest day of my liiiiiiiife!” — Ilana
Ilana is nothing if not a supportive friend. When Abbi decides that she is willing to try pegging when she finally hooks up with her hot neighbor, Jeremy, Ilana responds how we would all want our best friend to respond. Sexual expression is complicated, so encouraging others to find what they like is part of growing up. Don’t let FOMO hold you back.