Brooklyn Now Has Rival Street Artists Decorating Dog Turds. Yes, Really.

Dog poo in cities is a real problem. It gets washed down into the sewer systems and pollutes the water supply with bacteria, in addition to acting as a fertilizer, which promotes excessive aquatic plant growth that can choke waterways. Also, it’s really smelly and gross. It’s also frustrating as a vigilant dog owner, because at least once a week I get yelled at when my female dog squats to pee on a tree.

The reason why I’m telling you this, is that because none of those things probably have ANYTHING to do with why two Brooklyn street artists are engaged in a turf war of sorts — a “turd war,” if you will — over who can decorate dog poops the best. Seriously.

It all started when the Gothamist posted Instragram user Tom Dixon’s photo yesterday, which stated that some “genius” was bedazzling dog turds with gold glitter in his Bushwick neighborhood:

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WELL. After that, a graffiti artist who goes by Gold Poo NYC came out of the woodwork, because he’s been painting dog poops gold like way before it was even cool, FYI. Gold Poo NYC spoke to Huffington Post about this scoundrel plagiarizing his life’s work.

“I was surprised at first,” Gold Poo, whose own Instagram images of gold-covered poop (below) are months older than Dixon’s, told Huff Post. “Seeing how I have been doing this for just under a year straight and have gotten little to no attention.”

But the lack of publicity hasn’t bothered Gold Poo, or as he calls himself, the “captain of this goldpoo train.” In fact, the recent press has prompted him to jump on poop art’s new attention for his own outreach purposes, even though Dixon’s Instagram is definitely not his work: Gold Poo uses spray paint, not glitter, and wasn’t working in the DeKalb Avenue area on the date Dixon snapped his photo.

Gold Poo NYC then went to “reclaim” his territory today, spray painting over the glittered turds with his trademarked gold spraypaint. YES THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.

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Glitter everywhere. Lol glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts. @still._.dixon go look now. Dekalb btwn central and Wilson. Reclaimed. #goldpoo #brooklyn #bushwick #streetart

Hey! You know what? You know what I bet would send an even bigger message then decorating dog turds like little poop Liberaces? PICKING UP THE POOPS. Then — extra big plus — the faster you pick them up, the less chance your rivals will have to decorate them! No need to credit me with the idea, just go — GODSPEED, TURD HIPSTER.