We Need To Talk About This Chicken Finger That Looks Exactly Like A Penis

Just as the Virgin Mary or Jesus Christ himself might appear every now and then (shout out to my It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fans) in the wood grain of a dashboard or perhaps the swirls in a piece of cinnamon bread, a phallic symbol happens every so often. This specific penis, however, just happens to be in the form of chicken. Delicious chicken. What I’m saying is that we have a delicious chicken penis here, folks. Not a chicken penis, but piece of chicken shaped like — dammit, you get it.

Anyway, this male member monstrosity is either the work of some chicken part-shaping genius, or it just so happens that a vat of chicken parts somehow swirled together chicken butts in a certain way to slap together this slappy variant of a guy’s junk. Redditor DonnyGeeseGuy happened upon the foul fowl part while working in his restaurant, which of course spawned the comment: “Blew cheese?” Life just got better, people.

The monster who ordered the formerly feathered phallus did not want to engage with the bird-bird for reasons unbeknownst to us. DonnyGeeseGuy said:

But I was wrong about the Dicken Finger being eaten. I was told that it was but since then I have been convinced by other employees (including the server of the chicken) that it was thrown away after the customer said she wanted nothing to do with it.

I’m trying really hard not to write the sound chickens make, substituting the last syllable for a euphemism for penises. But, you know.

(via Reddit)