You Can Now Own A Terrifying 13-Foot David Hasselhoff Lifeguard Figure For $20,000

As part of their 2014 Hollywood Legends catalog, the folks at Julien’s Auctions have a number of items for sale that would make perfect gifts for the David Hasselhoff fans of the world who have everything. Among them are a KITT replica that was made as a gift for the Hoff, some jackets that the actor actually wore on the legendary TV series Baywatch Nights, and three footballs signed by Jim Brown, Dan Marino and Mark Brunell, each addressed to Hasselhoff. I’m not lying, I think it would be pretty awesome if someone asked who your football was signed by, and you replied, “Mark Brunell, but it was for David Hasselhoff.” Nobody else on Earth could say that.

But if you’re the type of memorabilia collector with way too much money at your disposal and you basically already own everything else in the world, then your ultimate prize might be this 13-foot Hasselhoff lifeguard figure that was featured in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, as well as at the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff. With a starting bid of $10,000, I don’t know how someone could justify not buying this thing.

An oversized model of David Hasselhoff wearing red lifeguard trunks in a swimming position, modeled after his character in Baywatch (NBC, 1989-1990, and syndication, 1991-2001). The life-like model was used as a prop in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (Nickelodeon, 2004) in which Hasselhoff, who plays himself, swims across the sea with SpongeBob and Patrick on his back and was also part of the red carpet event for the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff (Comedy Central, 2010), where various celebrities were seen taking photographs with it. The oversized figure comes in two parts and is propped up on rolling metal racks.

Approximately 167 by 54 by 54 inches

In case you’re unfamiliar with the SpongeBob scene in question, you can watch this Academy Awards snub right here:

Additionally, here’s a behind-the-scenes look at the Hasselhoff roast, and a very strange moment in which George Hamilton seems quite fascinated by the giant Hoff statue. Perhaps he’d be interested in buying it.