Seriously, Why Does Anyone Still Pay Good Money To Go On A Cruise?

I don’t know if you’ve been following this latest cruise ship clusterf*ck taking place out there on the seas with the ironically-named Carnival Triumph, but things are just disgusting on that cursed ship. Like, drenched in human feces disgusting.

The powerless ship, which had been adrift at sea for days, is currently being towed to Mobile, Alabama (As if these people on board haven’t suffered enough!). Once safely in port, passengers will be bused to New Orleans where 1500 rooms are being held for them. And from the sound of it, not a second too soon.

Reports the New York Times:

By Tuesday night, passengers were sending messages about the stench from feces and urine and dwindling food supplies. Mattresses had been hauled to hallways and the deck where sleeping was a bit cooler. Tension and fear were running high. On Thursday, Julie Hair called her husband from the ship to report that their 12-year-old daughter had Skittles candy for breakfast and that she ate cold waffles. The smell on board “was horrendous,” she said. “We thought the toilet was flushing today, but the water was coming up.”

Andres Colon, whose aunt was evacuated and whose wife, Brenda, was on the family trip, kept in touch with brief texts and phone calls until late Tuesday. One of the last things he heard was from a cousin, whose pregnant wife was on board.

“He waited for about three hours just to get her half a hamburger,” he said.

If that weren’t enough to disgust you, try this first hand account published on Deadspin

Literally stranded at sea. Using plastic bags to bathroom and NO ELECTRICITY.

Barely alive.

[The worst thing I’ve witnessed is] the toilets that fell off the wall because they were so full and shit and urine floating around.

Two people were banging in my tent the first night and I watched I was so bored.

Food hasn’t been a huge issue, but it’s not good. Jelly & bread and zucchini & red onion sandwiches.

Some lady was SELLING Immodium.

Woman died yesterday of a heart attack.

Coupled with the fact that these sorts of things seem to be becoming more frequent occurrences — there was the Costa Concordia disaster around this time last year, the Carnival Splendor before it, not to mention the repeated cases of crimes and horrific viruses breaking out on cruises — how is it that anyone actually still pays good money to step foot on a cruise ship?

Now, here’s the thing: I’ve never been on a cruise, so I can’t fully comprehend their appeal, but have been tempted many times to give one a try. After all, certain things about a cruise appeal to me conceptually, such as sustained periods of time spent lounging around, consuming alcohol and over-eating. This sort of thing is right in my wheelhouse. But most people I’ve known under the age of 60 who’ve been on cruises have hated them. A common refrain is that the first 24-36 hours are fun, but then extreme boredom sets in, not to mention intolerance of other people on the ship.

So I ask again: why do people continue to get on cruise ships? Didn’t any of you see Titanic?!?!?!