What If Classic Novels Had Clickbait Upworthy Titles?

Just last week we were literally amazeballs blown away by Downworthy, a browser plugin which changes clickbait headlines to less hyperbolic ones. We’ve also parodied this Upworthy headline style with science fiction and Simpsons clickbait headlines. If you’re still not familiar with this headline style, just hit refresh at Upworthy Generator until you literally weep for humanity.

Janet Potter and Nick Moran at The Millions posed the question, “What if books were whorishly titled, optimizing our search engines rather than our imaginations?” College Humor asked a similar question last year. What both sites came up with were Upworthy headline versions of classic novels like Lolita, The Hobbit, and The Great Gatsby (hence the GIF above, which we use at every opportunity).

Our ten favorite clickbait-friendly classic novels are collected below. Check out the rest at The Millions and College Humor. Thanks to Neatorama for the assist.

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Lord of the Flies by William Golding

The Hobbit; or, There and Back Again by J.R.R. Tolkien

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling

To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Moby Dick: or, The Whale by Herman Melville

The Bible

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

Check out the rest at The Millions and College Humor.