Saturday, CNN’s social media team went a little overboard when it came to documenting Donald Trump’s mindset. It was the day after the hotly anticipated, potentially earth-shattering Mueller report had been filed, and the news network decided to mark the occasion by channeling F. Scott Fitzgerald as interpreted by a precocious fifth grader who just discovered The Great Gatsby.
“On the evening Robert Mueller submitted his report to the Justice Department, President Trump was on the tiled patio of Mar-a-Lago, bathed in golden light, with his wife and son Barron, who had reached teenagerhood two days earlier,” read the tweet. Above it was a picture of a sullen-looking commander-in-chief, his posture slack, his head drooped in repose, perhaps weighed down by a brief moment of introspection or melancholy (but probably not).
Yet Twitter’s cadre of English teachers didn’t give the tweet a passing grade.
One person reworked it as the opening of James Joyce’s Ulysses.
Some compared it to writers quite a bit lesser than Fitzgerald or whoever wrote Epic of Gilgamesh.
Or pointed out the simple grammatical error.
Others interpreted it as the maiden entry in a game of Exquisite Corpse.
Some brought up the perhaps imminent pee tape.
Or attempted to compare Trump to Man Who Fell to Earth-era David Bowie.
Or maybe the tweeter was just high.