Florida Man (Er, Gator) Found Eating Human Remains


An ordinary police call, or as ordinary a police call as there can be in Florida, took a disturbing turn on Monday night when a group of cops from Southwest Ranches got called to what they thought was a standard crime scene only to find a group of alligators chowing down on a human body. It sounds grisly, but is it really fair that people can have enjoyable Memorial Day barbecues only to turn around and deny some badass reptiles the same courtesy? According to the local news outlet WPBF, the body was almost certainly dead before the alligators even got to it so they were only doing the town a courtesy and disposing of it before the smell of a decomposing body spread to any surrounding areas.

Tragically, the body remains unidentified and cause of death is unknown at this time. The only real facts the police have is that it had been in the river for a decent amount of time (gross) and the gators almost certainly did not kill it. That leaves a whole swatch of options of how this person could have been killed, from an accidental drowning to a suicide to a super weird tie-in for the second season of Bloodline. It’s been a banner week for alligators between this and the legitimate dinosaur that took a stroll on a Florida golf course a few days ago, but nothing will top alligator stories from a humor level like that time a nearly 10-foot beast decided he wanted to go swimming in a backyard pool. Reptiles have got to cool off too, man! This is a reminder why everyone should be nice to the alligators they come across, one day you might be hitting a wedge shot around one or hoping they don’t eat your dead, decaying body before the police find you.

(via WPBF News)