For Just $200 Your Cat Can Live Like Indiana Jones

The Etsy shop CatastrophiCreations only has one item in stock right now, but it’s the one item that might make your cat the most adventurous feline in your neighborhood. For the steep-but-justifiable price of $199, you can purchase an Indiana Jones Cat Bridge” and allow your cat to have entire days full of adventure in between licking itself, pooping in a box and being generally indifferent about its existence.

So what exactly does $199 get you for an Indiana Jones cat bridge anyway?

The bridge is made out of quality pine, and the wood has been stained onyx. We can do any color or stain you would like, if you would like a different color. Both base pieces and posts are carved by hand. These are held up with brackets that are attached to the top of the bases to give it a floating look from the bottom. Base are very sturdy and for extra support are held together with metal brackets. My cats name’s Ickle, he’s a dessert lynx and they get to be around 20lbs, so they’re made to support heavy cats.

If I can make two very serious and encouraging suggestions to the owner of CatastrophiCreations: 1) Add a plastic hamster ball that can be triggered to roll across the bridge like the giant boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark, or maybe just add some of the Thugee cult soldiers from Temple of Doom hanging from the bridge while a stuffed alligator awaits their fall; and 2) Edit this video of the cat on the bridge with some very intense music…

Also, for a follow-up product? Kitten bath Holy Grails from The Last Crusade. Make it happen.