Geraldo Rivera’s Shirtless Selfie Is Horrifying

“Welcome back to Fox News. We take you now the Home of Geraldo Rivera. Geraldo?”

“Thanks, Jim. As you can see here, I’m in my bathroom. I haven’t been in this room, or any other room in my residence except the Tanning Room, since Monday, when, while inflating a plastic palm tree, I slipped, fell, and have been boiling under the UV rays, without water, for days. To keep my sanity, I lifted and digested bottles of sunscreen, which has somehow turned me into some sort of super-villain. I may never wear clothes again.”

“Well, at the least, I’m sure you won’t be wearing hoodies.”

“Haha, no, Jim, I don’t want to feel like a no-good…”

He is the worst.

(Via Twitter)