Here’s Your ‘Grand Theft Auto V’ Crime Blotter

Sadly none of the stories are quite this sexy.

Well, a new Grand Theft Auto game is out, so of course that means the mainstream media is full of stories about the game being involved in real life crimes! That tinkling noise you hear? The sound of monocles dropping from shocked faces the world over.

Hit the jump for all the sordid details…

Let’s start with the sadder story, shall we?

– A 23-year-old, who had just got himself a shiny copy of GTA V at a midnight release was hit with a brick, stabbed and relieved of his new game while walking home in North London. The victim is currently in hospital in (thankfully) stable condition.

Three douchebags from Staten Island posed as cops in order to get a copy of GTA V early. Frank Santanastaso, Matthew Kirsheh and Kirolos Abdel Sayed dressed in police uniforms, used their “authority” to cut past hundreds of people lined up to buy GTA V at a mall and then took off in a car made up to look like a police cruiser. Hey, give them points for thoroughness. So, how did they get caught? Well, once they got in their fake cruiser they pulled an illegal u-turn right in front of an actual police officer in an unmarked car. Seems real-life cops are a bit touchier (and more competent) than the ones in the game.

Of course it’s not only GTA that causes crimes

Oh British tabloids. To be fair, I’d probably rather wear a veil than nipple tassels too — those things have to chafe.

via The Telegraph, SILive & Kotaku