Here’s The Wild Story Of A Man Who Allegedly Tried To ‘Cookiejack’ Some Girl Scouts

Listen, I don’t get worked up about too many things but dammit, YOU DO NOT STEAL COOKIES FROM GIRL SCOUTS! According to Maryland police, a man and an “underage accomplice” attempted a daring Ocean’s 11 heist of some girl scout cookies. A wagon full of them to be specific.

As 18-year-old Gabriel Taylor Smith ran down the street with the stolen cookies, two girls ages 12 and 13, gave chase. After realizing he wasn’t going to outrun these courageous girls, he dropped the wagon and jumped into the getaway car.

That’s when neighbors went to work. Several of them called 911 while others jumped into their vehicles to chase the bandits down.

(By the way, yes, this needs to be made into a movie ASAP. I’m thinking Michael Bay special effects type stuff.)

The car was subsequently located at a gas station in Odenton, the community where the two suspects reside. The Girl Scouts later fingered Smith and his associate in the attempted cookie heist. Both were charged with misdemeanor theft since the cookies were valued at less than $1000.

The moral of story here is simple and straightforward. If you’re going to wagonjack some girl scouts, make sure you’re…

a) fast enough to beat them on foot
b) not stupid

Also, don’t steal from the girl scouts. Sure, the cookies are overpriced and they’re absolutely screwing you over but dammit, they’re delicious. And you know, they’re just kids.

[The Smoking Gun]