High Schoolers Petition To Make Quidditch An Official Sport

Keller High School in north Texas has a Quidditch club with 80 members split into four teams (Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff).  Now they’re petitioning the University Interscholastic League (UIL) in an attempt to have the sport sanctioned, which would make it the 14th official high school sport.  For the record, gymnastics, water polo, and lacrosse aren’t sanctioned by the UIL yet.  As for how this bastardized muggle version of the game works, we can refer back to a quote posted during the Quidditch World Cup last November:

Quidditch — or Muggle Quidditch, as it’s technically called — is a glorified mash-up of dodgeball, basketball, and rugby. Players run down the pitch trying to toss the quaffle (a kickball) through the goal (a hula hoop taped onto a jerry-rigged PVC-pipe stand). […]  They’re doing all of this more or less one-handed. The other is always on that phallic piece of wood they’re straddling. (If your broom touches the ground, you’re taken out of the action for fifteen seconds as you simulate the time it would take for a wizard to fall to the ground.) [Vulture via Filmdrunk]

Also, the “snitch” is a fast runner wearing yellow clothes with a tennis ball attached to their belt (as is the style of the times).  I didn’t make that up, by the way.  I don’t think it’s possible to make a joke about Muggle Quidditch that can’t be misinterpreted as a real part of the game.  For example: cheerleaders for Muggle Quidditch are called “Hermoines” and if their team loses, they have to draw slips of paper out of a sorting hat and the Hermoine who draws the slip with a black dot on it has to cut her hair really short like Emma Watson did when principal photography on the last film wrapped.  Fact?  Something I just made up?  Who knows!  Anything’s possible when you jam a broom between your legs!  (That motto is on my family crest.)

[BaltimoreSun via TheMarySue]