Don’t Stare Too Long At This Horrifying Homemade Sex Doll If You Ever Want To Sleep Again

01.17.14 4 years ago 17 Comments

homemade sex doll

What you see above is a homemade sex doll that is certainly the most frightening and satisfying sight I’ve seen to this point in 2014. It is frightening for the obvious Catcher In The Rye reading, “can I smell your hair” reasons you might suspect. But at the same time I get satisfaction because it proves that I’m not alone in this world.

The doll comes from Redditor zeppelin_weapon and features everything a prospective samurai needs to walk his lonely path through life. From Nerve:

If you would like to try this at home, from what I can make out, you will need: papier mâché, a knee brace, masking tape, four used bodega bags with the receipt left inside, crinkled Cover Girl ads circa 1998 when Sarah Michelle Gellar was last famous, thermal underwear, a balloon, a black wig, a sweatshirt hood, generic brand lotion, rolled up towels, errant pieces of fabric, tennis shoes (they’re just more practical than heels), the entire contents of a Chinatown dumpster, and a sh*t ton of free time.

I believe the missing ingredient there is love. Without love, this is nothing more than a mass of greasy tape wearing tennis shoes. And why tennis shoes? Possibly because a gentleman knows he’ll be on the run a good bit of the time. You and your love will both need to be speedy when things get hot and heavy during your date in the park, where the public won’t be prepared.

I’m old fashioned myself. I usually just go the old prison method and mold some toilet paper how I need it, stuffing it between some pillows and showing the world what true romance looks like. Eat your heart out, Christian Slater.

The behind the scenes photos are below and should be considered NSFW and possibly not safe for life. The mind is a dark place that seems to gravitate towards the shadows when they see a sight like this, much like when reading Big Foot porn.

homemade sex doll

(Images via Nerve / Reddit)

Around The Web