Meet The Portland Pimp Suing Nike For $100 Million After Brutally Stomping A Man With His Jordans

Oregon is just full of gutter trash, isn’t it? I blame Portlandia. This time around we have a Portland pimp involved in a brutal beating and robbery that earned him 100 years in prison. But who does he blame for his prison sentence? Nike and their lack of a warning label on their Air Jordan sneakers. From The Oregonian:

Sirgiorgiro Clardy claims Nike should have placed a label in his Jordan shoes warning consumers that they could be used as a dangerous weapon. He was wearing a pair when he repeatedly stomped the face of a john who was trying to leave a Portland hotel without paying Clardy’s prostitute in June 2012.

Jurors early in 2013 found him guilty of second-degree assault for using his Jordans — a dangerous weapon — to beat the john’s face to a pulp. The man required stitches and plastic surgery on his nose.

The jury also found him guilty of robbing the john and beating the 18-year-old woman he forced to work as his prostitute. She was injured so badly that she bled from her ears.

Clearly this is all Nike’s fault. He never would’ve used the shoes to beat the victims if he read a warning that they were a dangerous weapon. That’s just common sense.

“Under product liability there is a certain standard of care that is required to be up-held by potentially dangerous product …” wrote Clardy, who is representing himself. “Do (sic) to the fact that these defendants named in this Tort claim failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction it has caused personal injury in the likes of mental suffering.”

Clardy wrote that he’s tried to starve himself and kill himself multiple times. He asks a Multnomah County judge to order Nike to affix warning labels to all their “potentially dangerous Nike and Jordan merchandise.” (via)

Oregon has a history of charging defendants on a variety of deadly weapons charges, including ropes, shoes and HIV-infected blood because of the longer sentences involved. That might have some connection to such action by Clardy, but the end game is quite confusing. Compounding matters is Clardy’s actions in court when described as an “anti-social psychopath” by a psychologist:

During his two-week trial and his two-day sentencing hearing, Clardy was known for his unusual courtroom antics. He shouted expletives at the judge, prosecutors and jurors.
A psychologist declared him an anti-social psychopath who was 100 percent likely to commit violent crimes again. And Clardy disagreed so loudly — making such a scene — that he was removed from the courtroom. (via)

I don’t know if Nike has to formally respond to the claim or if they can just send a video of Michael Jordan dunking a basketball. Just a full hour of Jordan highlights with the intro of “Fly Like An Eagle” the entire time. Do do do dooo!

(Lead image via Mediaite/ KGW / Oregonian)