Perhaps you were in a hipster coffee shop when you heard the news: Jacob Wohl has been permanently banned from Twitter. The far right troll and Donald J. Trump superfan — who made a name at all of 21 years old for tweeting cartoonishly obvious lies that were mostly about furtive Trump-supporting youths — has been kicked off the social media platform that made him a source of probably unintentional entertainment. Why? Because he bragged about creating fake Twitter accounts in a USA Today profile that the people who run Twitter actually read.
It was a fitting twist for someone who liked to pick fights with real celebrities like Chrissy Teigen to get epically self-owned. In the USA Today profile, which was released hours before Twitter top brass made their fateful decision, the young whatever-he-was (he liked the term “political and corporate intel consultant,” though presumably few else do) went full Bond villain. Specifically, he explained his plan to a reporter who then printed it in the newspaper article:
He says he plans to create “enormous left-wing online properties” — such as deceptive Facebook and Twitter accounts — “and use those to steer the left-wing votes in the primaries to what we feel are weaker candidates compared with Trump.” It’s a plot similar to what Mueller has charged in indictments that the Russians crafted in an effort to boost the 2016 campaigns of Bernie Sanders and Jill Stein and hobble Hillary Clinton.
In Wohl’s short time as a social media star, during which he gained some 180,000 Twitter followers, he racked up an impressive list of anti-greatest hits. He tried to smear Robert Mueller by recruiting a woman to accuse him of sexual assault. Said woman failed to appear at a disastrous (but very funny) press conference, then claimed Wohl had deceived her into taking part in his ruse.
Wohl also tried to birther-ize Kamala Harris, claiming she was ineligible as a presidential candidate because of her immigrant parents and a childhood spent partly in Canada. The charge was quickly debunked by reporters. Meanwhile, last week Wohl tried to fundraise $25,000 to “investigate” a rumor that freshman representative Ilhan Omar had married her brother.
For now, Wohl is hobbled and unable to spread his gospel on Twitter, though he is still able to cruise elsewhere along the information superhighway. The news inspired social media types, always game for some funnies, to crack wise.
Many threw Wohl’s greatest hit in his face.
It was pointed out that Wohl, still free to roam around Instagram, was bragging about being banned from the only place where he’s famous.
The North Korea parody account got in on the action, too.
As did the account Rip Torn Outlives.
Some dug up a couple of the alleged fake accounts Wohl had created.
Others made fun of how young he is.
Or, they compared him to another internet clutz, Laura Loomer.
Some floated the crazy theory that perhaps Jacob Wohl is not an intelligent person.
Others compared him to another earth-shattering prodigy, Isaac Newton.
Or, they reminded us of exactly how much he’s accomplished in so little time.
Then again, he has so much growing up to do.
In the meantime, let’s celebrate.
Or maybe not. After all, Twitter has lost one of its most prolific entertainers.
Then again, thanks to the Mueller squirmish, which is currently being investigated by the feds, he may be heading to prison anyway.
Whether or not Wohl turns out to be an Andy Kaufman-style performance artist is something we may one day know for sure. Till then, to quote Barton Fink, we’ll be seeing that kid, and we don’t mean a postcard.