Freedom-Loving Texans Are Prepared For War As Jade Helm 15 Is Underway

Jade Helm 15 is apparently one of two things. 1) An eight-week military training exercise taking place in seven states – Arizona, Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, New Mexico, Texas, and Utah – and its primary objective is to train troops to deal with a variety of unfamiliar terrains and weather situations. These drills will be conducted on private property in different cities in each state (but mostly in Texas), and Army leadership is assuring everyone in those towns that they’ll barely even notice.

OR 2) It’s the greatest conspiracy that the United States government has ever tried to pull, and it’s really just President Obama’s effort to send troops into Texas and take all of the citizens’ guns away, which is why people are supposedly burying their firearms to stop them (although a lot of citizens are also upset that the entire state is being described as crazy). Even Chuck Norris sees through Obama’s ruse. And Texas Governor Greg Abbott is on to Obama’s master plan, because he ordered the Texas State Guard to keep an eye on the troops “just in case.” You know, in case they begin their campaign to lock every freedom-loving Texan up in the local Walmarts until they’re brainwashed and ready to contribute to the New World Order’s lizard god’s agenda.

It’s one or the other, folks. For more on Jade Helm 15, anchors Tom Storey and Briana Lane uncover the conspiracy in today’s episode of The Desk.