A comedian’s life on the road is probably pretty rough at times. A different random hotel every few nights, crappy take out for multiple meals a day, and less-than-ideal travel methods ranging from overnight car rides to ill-timed flights while sitting in a middle coach seat. Of course, as stand-up comics grow more and more successful their tours naturally become more comfortable and high-profile, and they can leave those crappy hotel rooms and the dreadful room service that comes with them behind.
At least that’s what Jim Gaffigan thought when he checked into “the fanciest hotel in Boston.” On Sunday, Gaffigan posted a picture of a bar menu at said fanciest hotel, which includes all the classy options one might expect from such an establishment like Bay Scallop ceviche, fried calamari, and…
Yes, Hot Pockets somehow found their way onto a menu for a fancy joint in Boston — where they are technically known as Haht Pawkets — but they’ve been classed up as a menu item with the addition of honey mustard aioli, which makes them a true delicacy. It’s probably not what Gaffigan was expecting when he got all hyped up for room service a top-tier hotel, but it at least makes a good story.
That’s not all though, as Gaffigan is also being peer pressured to actually eat the Hot Pocket menu item by none other than… Kiefer Sutherland?
What in the world is happening here? Not only is Kiefer Sutherland somehow the first person to respond to Jim about his unfortunate menu options, but he’s actively pushing Gaffigan to eat questionable chicken bacon & swiss cheese Hot Pockets. (Which, by the way, sounds completely disgusting whether they are chicken bacon & swiss snacks OR a chicken, bacon & swiss variety.)
Is Sutherland secretly a shill for the Hot Pocket industrial complex? How does he know which temperature makes Hot Pockets high class? The most sensical explanation is that Sutherland is secretly obsessed with Hot Pockets and requires them to be prepared a specific way on each set he works on, no matter what.
Or, he is in a secret feud with Jim Gaffigan for secret reasons and is trying to make him physically sick due to iffy frozen hotel offerings. An even more random explanation could be that said Boston hotel is paying Sutherland off to promote their limited bar menu, and only their limited bar menu.
It could be anything, really, but whatever it is it’s a random occurrence that could have only arisen on Twitter. Sometimes the internet is good.