Love Isn’t In The Air: 10 Valentine’s Day Cards For Lonely People

For hunky beefcake international male models like myself, Valentine’s Day is awesome, because women are always throwing themselves at me. FACT: The United States Post Office has to use 6 trucks just to bring me my fan mail on this day each year. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who don’t share the same joy that I do for the most important holiday of the year, behind Make Out With A Blogger Day, which I may or may not have just made up.
The people who despise and decry Valentine’s Day as some sort of fabricated Hallmark holiday ruin the fun for the rest of us. It’s not a holiday that was created for the sole purpose of selling cards, flowers, chocolates and 8×10 photos of me. It’s a chance to celebrate the greatest emotion in the world – sex. Wait, no. I mean love. First comes love and then comes sex… unless you’re Charlie Sheen. Easy jokes about celebrities with briefcases full of cocaine aside, it’s time that the lonely people realize that they have a reason to celebrate today as well. That’s why I dug up this collection of Valentine’s Day cards for lonely people this year.