Mad Men Discussion: It Was All A Dream, He Used To Read 'Ad Age' Magazine…

When we last discussed the internet’s favorite TV show to obsess over, Betty Draper was whiny, miserable and fat. FAT FAT FAT. Oh Betty Draper how we hate you so. And boy do we love doing it. EAT THAT SUNDAE AND THOSE BUGLES YOU MOST AWFUL C-WORD, YOU!

Anyway, what would this week bring? Less Betty — that’s a plus! Peggy draining Roger of his walking around cabbage. Joan kicking her rapey husband to the curb. Oh, and a murder, perhaps? Yes please!

With that said, here are a few notes I made during the show about characters, scenes, etc. that I found interesting for one reason or another.

– I don’t know about you, but as soon as I saw Stan Rizzo with pantyhose on his head I had a feeling that this episode would be dark, and it was, arguably the darkest Man Men episode in a while — filled with references to the work of serial killer Richard Speck, bad dreams, things going bump in the night, etc. It was like a horror movie version of the show, and I, for one, loved it. As much as last week’s episode was lame (thanks Betty!), this week’s episode was great.

– Oh, what’s that — Don Draper is coughing? Could it be that cigarettes have inflicted lung cancer on our puff-loving hero? What will he do to provide his family after he’s gone, if this is indeed the case? Cook meth, perhaps? Now there’s a TV show I’d watch!

– Sally Draper may be my favorite character on the show this season.

– Dr. Rapey McRapeypants is back from Vietnam, where I was really hoping he’d get blown to smithereens by one of Charlie’s landmines or something. But in retrospect I’m glad that he didn’t so he could come home and get blown up by Joan instead. Get your d*ck warmed up in the bullpen, Roger Sterling.

– Am I the only one who kinda wishes Don actually did throw the office’s new Woody Allen on speed in front of a cab? He annoys the hell out of me. I obviously hate Jews, right?

-I love how Roger goes from offering Peggy 10 bucks to 400 bucks for her to spend her weekend whipping up a Mohawk Airlines campaign for him. Also, why does Roger always have so much damn cash in his wallet? Wasn’t $400 in 1966 roughly the equivalent of $4000 today? Also, how soon before paying off people so he can keep up with Pete Campbell drives him into bankruptcy?

-Last night my friend Spencer made a GIF request via Twitter: “Next level photoshop request: putting Baby rubbing his hands behind Peggy as she counts her dollaz.” Naturally, the internet came through.

– “Come on Trotsky, you’re in advertising.” — Roger Sterling.

– Did everyone catch the “mommy I made poopoo” Clorox commercial? I once did the exact same thing that kid in the commercial did — took a dump in the family bathtub. My folks weren’t pleased, as I recall.

– My first thought when Don ran into that Andrea woman in the elevator was “who the hell is this?” Has Don Draper banged so many women on the show that I’ve lost the ability to keep up with them all? Or are we to presume that this was a fling he had prior to the timeline that the show starts in? Also, Megan better get used to this sort of thing — the elevators of midtown Manhattan are filled with former Don Draper seed extractors.

– Did y’all notice how Grandma Francis uses a remote to shut off the TV Sally was watching? These were available back then? I’m guessing they were only for the 1%.

– The accordion player in the restaurant showing up at Joan and Greg’s table at the worst possible moment made me laugh pretty damn hard. I had a similar experience years ago except that it was in a Mexican restaurant and it was a mariachi band that came over right as my ex and I were launching into a heated argument.

– Because I’m a sick f*ck, I was pretty sure Peggy and the black secretary were going to have sex when it became clear that they were going to go back to Peggy’s apartment for the night.

– Oh look at this — Don Draper on the verge of death can’t resist a piece of pu$sy. Does lung cancer make people horny? I mean, it turned Walter White into a sex machine too, after all.

-“Y’all drink a lot.” — Don’s quite observant black secretary to Peggy while they both drink Rheingolds on Peggy’s sofa.

-So this is basically what happened between Grandma Francis and Sally last night: “What’s that…you want to read the newspaper? Absolutely not. What’s that…you’d like to watch some television? Absolutely not? What’s wrong with you kids today anyway? What’s that…you want to get wet? Oh by all means, absolutely. Here, take this…”

-That awkward moment when you remember you have a bunch of cash of your purse and there’s a black person sleeping on your sofa. Ugh, hate when that happens.

-Me at around 9:50 central time last night: “Oh, no Don, don’t do it…oh noooo! Oh snap, Don’s going to kill her? Oh for f*ck’s sake, Don, that’s no way to hide a body! Oh wait, it WAS ALL A BAD DREAM?! OH SCREW YOU, MATT WEINER! SCREEEEEW YOUUUUUU!

– Wait, maybe it all wasn’t a bad dream? Maybe Megan came up and cleaned up Don’s mess like the doting little wife she is?

-“I’m glad the Army makes you feel like a man because I’m sick of trying to do it…I want you to go and never come back.” — Joan. Good riddance. The f*ck you she gave Greg last night was arguably better than the time she cracked him over the head with a potted plant.

With all of that that said, the person who contributes what I deem to be the best comment today gets a free DVD of Mad Men season one or four (the most recent one). Winner’s choice.