A Man Was Banned From A Hilton Hotel For Life Over A Really Bad Penis Joke

02.26.14 4 years ago 4 Comments
Hilton Hotel


If you’re the type of person who still says, “Yes please” when someone asks for your sex on a survey, then this story might leave you absolutely shocked and outraged. A 35-year old software consultant named Jason Payne recently booked an online reservation for the Hilton hotel in Basingstoke, UK, and his one-night stay seemed to go without a flaw, according to the Daily Mail, as he was in and out, business as usual. Except several days later, he received an email from the hotel’s front office manager letting him know that he had been banned from that specific hotel for life because his “abusive language” put the staff in an “uncomfortable situation.”

Specifically, when Payne filled out his online reservation form and answered the question asking if he was traveling with any pets, he wrote: “There’s a large snake in my trousers. Hope that’s OK.” And then, I assume, his bowtie spun around and his pants fell down. But according to him, it was all in good fun and nobody was ever in an “uncomfortable situation.”

In her email to Payne, the hotel’s front office manager informed him that “we are not willing to accept that our team members are ever put into an uncomfortable situation, due to the abusive language a guest uses talking to them, writing to them or even on the booking form they fill in online.”

But Payne, who was staying at the hotel to attend a friend’s nearby birthday party, insists that the receptionist did not feel uncomfortable. “The reception girl just suddenly burst out laughing hysterically and appeared very amused. I had no idea why and then she read the comment to let me and her colleague know what she was laughing at. Her colleague then also laughed.”

When asked if there were any other incidents at the hotel that could have provoked the banning, Payne told us, “No. I was barely there. Even the snake was well-behaved.” (Via Flyertalk)

This guy is just a laugh a minute. But he’s a man that stands by his point that the manager should just chill out and learn to take a joke. He even invoked the worst F-word of them all.

‘I think she’s a fuddy-duddy, taking really what was a puckish remark far too seriously, and she has no sense of humour.

‘It was a joke. I have heard far worse said on CBBC and on TV shows like Loose Women and Jeremy Kyle.

‘The only person who was ever going to see it was an adult, and they are exposed to far worse than “There’s a snake in my trousers”.’ (Via the Daily Mail)

Well, at least Payne has learned his lesson and he now realizes that there’s a time and place for all dick jokes, what’s funny to him may not always be funny to another person, and the consequences to a bad joke can always be far worse than we’d ever imagine. Haha, just kidding, he’d do it all over again just to prove a point.

“I find there is a universal sense of humor when the context is just a bit of a laugh, whether clean and witty or puckish innuendo… Unilaterally declaring the comment not funny is a bit imperious and gratuitous. The comment was a bit of Austin Powers-style sophomoric banter which regularly draws laughs.”

And when asked if he would do it over again, Payne is defiant. “Of course [I would do it again], probably the next time I book again at a Hilton hotel, and I bet I don’t get the same reaction.”

He’s a regular Rosa Parks.

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