Of Course The Straws At Japanese McDonald’s Were Designed To Work Like A Woman’s Breast

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Boobs. They continue to fascinate with their ability to provide life-giving nourishment to tiny humans while maintaining a carnal magnetism that is unexplainable. They’re really just fleshy pockets of tissue that somehow have implanted themselves into our sexual lexicon when their primary purpose is to feed our seedlings. Incredible world we live in, no?

A woman’s breasts are no longer just for ogling or orally delivered sustenance, though, thanks to that magical place on the map called Japan. Asian news site, RocketNews24, came across some interesting excerpts from a book written by Japanese McDonald’s founder Den Fujita. In Fujita’s book, Den Fujita’s Business Strategies 2: Overwhelming Business Strategies, the McDonald’s magnate reveals that the female breast is responsible for inspiring the design of straws at the golden arches.

When humans drink something, the speed that produces the most delicious feeling is the speed at which babies nurse…McDonald’s straws are designed so that when used with a shake, the speed will be the same as that of an infant drinking breast milk.

If anyone has suckled from the straws of a McDonald’s milkshake in the states, they know that it takes a good three pulls to load the straw with enough liquid before its contents can be suctioned into the face hole. I’m not positive if Japan and the U.S. share the same booby-straw formula, but if they do, then imagine how frustrating it is be to be a baby. Babies probably already know that the first couple of pulls will produce nothing — not cool, mom.

Anyway, it’s slightly disturbing to think that someone did research on this, because how else can the manufacturer of the chesty-straw compare a breast to their product. From memory?

(via RocketNews24)