A London Meerkat Expert Was Cleared Of Assault In A Bizarre Zoo Love Triangle Case

Bristol Zoo Welcomes Triplet Meercats
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Here’s the best story about the best love triangle with the best lead ever.

Seriously, the lucky writer from Associated Press (which was republished by The News & Observer) who wrote this up must have rubbed their hands together in glee at getting to apply the AP’s dry language to a story like this.

Here’s the lead in all its glory:

A former meerkat expert at London Zoo was cleared Tuesday of assaulting a monkey handler in a love spat over a llama-keeper.

The meerkat expert is named Caroline Westlake, and the monkey handler (how do you get these jobs?) is Kate Saunders. Both had argued at a London Zoo Christmas party over a man both had dated, one llama keeper named Adam Davies. Saunders ended up with a cut on the cheek from a wineglass. Westlake said she had no memory of hitting her romantic rival with the glass.

Last year, a lower court ruled that Westlake had caused reckless injury to Saunders, but a High Court “quashed the conviction” on Tuesday. Hopefully both ladies can move on now; no dude is worth this, especially one who wrangles llamas.

In researching this story, I’ve learned that there’s a television show called Zoo. This love triangle sounds perfect for that show, even more riveting than a zebra heist.

(Via News & Observer)