Meet The UConn Resident Adviser Who Is Just Begging To Be Screwed With Tonight

Senior Writer
04.07.14 7 Comments

Earlier today, an email from a UConn dorm resident adviser named Derek started making the rounds on Twitter, and whether or not it’s a real email isn’t known. If it’s fake, the guy behind it deserves a trophy for playing it off so well, but because it’s such a smarmy display of shittiness, we’re going to believe that it’s real. In the email, Derek isn’t just a condescending goody-goody who expects the best and utmost respect out of his floor’s residents like a total square, but he also takes a huge, steaming dump all over the pride that UConn students should be feeling right now over their team, a 7-seed underdog that did the unthinkable.

Not many people seem to believe that the Huskies have a chance of beating the 8-seed Kentucky Wildcats, who have also pulled off a string of amazing victories to also get to tonight’s NCAA Tournament Championship Game, but if you needed any reason to pull for the Huskies now, let it be Derek’s email. Seriously, this guy is just begging to have poop smeared on his door tonight.

Hey everyone,

Please go to Gampel or somewhere else to watch the game. Midnight quiet hours still apply here, so responsibly go nuts elsewhere. I’m on duty tonight and it’s going to be stressful, so please don’t push it on our floor. There are going to be a lot of RA’s and police around North, if I wasn’t an RA I would personally stay away from here tonight.

In the end, remember that the only reason you care about the game is:

a.) because they’re wearing a UConn uniform
b.) you want an excuse to go wild

If it’s the first one, you’re cheering for laundry. Get excited if you want, but it’s nothing worth getting in trouble for. If it’s the second one, be as far away from me as possible tonight. I will not appreciate being disrespected over the outcome of a basketball game. I’ve done all I can to respect you and your privacy since August, please reciprocate this respect and be civil on our floor.

While you might get caught up in tonight, please remember that the night will eventually end. And no matter what the basketball team does, I’m still going to be your RA for another monther.

So have fun, but not too much fun.


Damn dude. I really hope some of the kids on his floor get a Vine of him screaming and freaking out over the noise tonight. Especially if the noise is caused by a bunch of live chickens that suddenly showed up in his room.

(H/T to Bro Bible)

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