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Men Reveal The Effeminate Things They Would Do If Society Deemed Acceptable

No one ever said it was easy being a woman. On top of the societal bullcrap we have to deal with on an everyday basis — gender wage gap, fighting for adequate healthcare, dudes trying to grab us by the pussy, etc. — just look at all of the horrors our own biology and reproduction have in store for us. Do you know what the male equivalent of childbirth is? Well guess what: THERE ISN’T ONE. Yeah, yeah, passing a kidney stone is no walk in the park, now try expelling a human from your body.

But in some ways women do have it better, albeit in the most minor ways possible. We get to smell better. And our clothes are more comfortable. Such was the topic of a recent Ask Reddit thread: “Men of Reddit; what thing would you do if it wasn’t so feminine or socially unacceptable?” Finally we can behold all of the perks or being a woman that men secretly covet. (But seriously, please don’t take away our access to healthcare.)

We’ll start out with Dear_Occupant, who states the obvious:

It’s a really simple thing, but girls just fucking smell good. When they come out of the bathroom after showering and freshening up, it smells like someone knocked over a jar full of polka dots or something. They’re all flowery and fruity and sweet. I wish I could smell like a flowerbed all the time without getting judged.

Moving on, trump_did_nineeleven uncovered the ultimate secret of women:

If I didn’t have a penis I would only wear yoga pants

In a similar vein, bigalsplaypen discovered leggings and now his life will never be the same.

I don’t know if this counts because I do it but leggings are amazing. Holy shit! I lost a bet and had to go as a princess for Halloween and those leggings were so fucking warm that I now own several pairs and I am no longer cold when I go out. Obviously, I don’t wear just the leggings on their own. I’ll wear them under pants or shorts.

Likewise, dick_butt_jr realized he has an affinity for advanced skin care. (We used to just have a name for this.)

One night, my girlfriend decided to use one of those face mask things. So, I decided why the hell can’t I make my skin all nice and soft? Now I’m addicted and do them at least twice a week.

Yaliw just wants to be able to show off some bling, although it seems like rappers pull this sort of thing off all the time.

I love gems and jewelry. I’d wear more jewelry if it was socially acceptable. I mean a ruby studded gold bracelet or some shit. Hell, it would be neat to get a piercing and put a gemstone in it.

Gotta say, woodwalker700 is not wrong. Sundresses are everything in the hot weather.

Sundresses, man. When it’s hot as shit outside those things look like heaven.

I’m not really worried about proving my manliness or whatever, I’m secure in myself, but I think wearing dresses is a bridge too far.

Taking things a step further, jaijaikali weighs in:

Skirts. We need the ball room.

I’m actually for the revival of cloaks and such as well. We should just wear robes.

Poor valvenisfan just wants to order a goddamned Mai Tai:

Order fruity drinks without being judged.

And santajawn322 (who doesn’t need to clarify he’s from Philly) just wants to make a goddamned quilt.

Honestly, I think I’d get into quilting. I live in Pennsylvania and there’s some damn impressive quilting happening here. And, to top it off, I think it’s awesome that you can make something like a quilt and give it to someone, who’ll literally wrap themselves in the gift you’ve made them.

Fuck it. I’m making a quilt, you guys.

And finally, veering into slight TMI territory, rateds2k explains why laser hair removal isn’t just for women!

Laser hair removal on my ass. Actually I finally starting going(am in my 4th session) and omg it is amazing. I so should have just swallowed my pride and done this sooner. I have always had to shave between my butt cheeks because it was like shitting through a strainer if I didn’t. Also as a side effect I save so much more on TP now.

Hey, being that this is the year 2017 and the lines of traditional gender roles are constantly being pushed and obscured, I say if guys want to wear lipstick and let their balls swing free in a sundress, you go ahead and fly those freak flags, dudes.

(Via Reddit)

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