A Michigan Teacher Thought It Would Be A Great Idea To Give Fifth Graders Non-Alcoholic Beer

03.18.14 4 years ago 5 Comments
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A Michigan teacher is in some hot water after serving members of a fifth grade history class non-alcoholic beer. The lapse in judgment was part of a lesson on life in the 1700s and the administration was not pleased. From Huffington Post:

Superintendent Ed Koledo said the teacher allowed Hyatt Elementary students in Linden to sample O’Doul’s that had been brought to school by a student March 6 to represent ale common in the 1700s. The students were told that many people drank ale at the time because water was sometimes dirty or unhealthy.

“We talked to the teacher and said this was an inappropriate choice,” Koledo said. “There were a lot better choices to represent a colonial-era drink than what was chosen here.”

The students were allowed a small taste but none were forced to try the non-alcoholic beer, school officials said. Koledo, who didn’t identify the teacher, said allowing non-alcoholic beer into the classroom and allowing students to drink it was a mistake.

I should make clear that my feelings are not the same as Superintendent Koledo. There was a lapse in judgment in bringing O’Doul’s into a classroom, it’s not a real beer.  If someone were to bring it to a party, you should immediately destroy the concoction and ban them for life. No non-alcoholic beer should ever touch the lips of a living person and these kids deserve to know better.

I bet when George Washington hears about this through the ripples of time, he’s going to rip through and choke the life out of the first cave man he sees in order to shift time to his liking. We’ll all be smoking venison with gills on our neck.

These kids should be happy they got a chance to do this in school. Of course people got their panties in a twist, but that happens when a teacher says boo in today’s educational environment. And even back when I was in grade school, the most we got to do was make “stone soup” based on the story book of the same name. And it sucked, hard.

More kids should drink beer. Weed out the weaklings a bit earlier and build champions. It worked for Morris Buttermaker and the Bad News Bears, dammit!

(Via Huffington Post / Newsdump)

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