Miley Cyrus took to Instagram last night to stress the importance of a daily masturbation regimen. “A masturbate a day keeps the haters away,” she wrote, posting a picture of a girl with her hand in her short shorts:
This is actually the most important advice that Miley Cyrus has ever given. It’s true! According to actual scientific studies, masturbation SHOULD be part of one’s daily routine, along with 30 minutes of exercise, three square meals, a glass of red wine, and a vitamin supplement. The health and psychological benefits of masturbation are plentiful: It relieves sexual tension, it improves sleep, it reduces stress, increases self-esteem, and enhances overall sexual satisfaction.
So you might think that Miley Cyrus is simply trying to shock you by posting a photo to Instagram of a woman sticking her hand in her pants and poking around in pleasure town, but in reality, she’s just looking out for your sexual, mental, and emotional health.