As a species and as a country, we have this affinity for old words. One example is, of course, the constitution — a living document that, in this political climate, probably isn’t going to be retrofitted for these times any time soon. That sucks, but whattaya gonna do and please hand me my PS4 controller and can we order pizza? That’s my attitude most of the time, but there are others who are all kinds of pissed when they look at the state of things and feel as though old words and old men play too large a role in deciding what is. They feel as though they are owed more, they have demands, and today they’re coming together on Twitter under the hashtag, #MillennialBillOfRights, for whatever such a thing is worth. Good for them? I dunno — pizza, PS4, and leave me alone. The point is, #ItsHappening and when an action (such as it is) occurs, there is a natural reaction in the form of snark ninjas intent of mocking the earnestest generation with that same hashtag.
So far, the results have been a mix of funny and sad, as the two sparring factions have mostly used the moment to throw tweeted poop balls at each other. Yet tucked within those eye roll-inducing swipes are a few messages that, when cobbled together, stand as a set of rules we should all be able to get down with.
Free beard implants for all. #MillennialBillOfRights
— TuckFrump (@TuckFrump2016) February 3, 2016
Right to go home w full pay when phone battery runs down to 10%. #MillennialBillOfRights
— 🦠 Fundamentally Lazy 🦠 (@smpwned) February 3, 2016
You will write "Happy Birthday" on your friend's Facebook wall or you can not expect them to write it on yours. #MillennialBillofRights
— 22 Words (@22Words) February 3, 2016
#MillennialBillOfRights "Life-hack, liberty, and the pursuit of whateves"
— Lonesome Rich (@LonesomeRich) February 3, 2016
#MillennialBillOfRights twerking privileges
— Matt Loki (@MattLoki) February 3, 2016
#MillennialBillOfRights The right to question anything.
— Thread Weaver (@KatuahCareavan) February 3, 2016
I think any Bill of Rights, millennial or otherwise, should include lightsabers for all.
But I am a bit biased.#MillennialBillOfRights
— Anakin's Lightsaber (@skywalker_saber) February 3, 2016
#MillennialBillOfRights We have the right to hoverboard WHEREVER we want!
— SourceFed (@sourcefed) February 3, 2016
The right to hold accountable & immediately remove from office ANY politician proven a lying, cheating douchebag. #MillennialBillOfRights
— R.T. Graham (@RTGrahamWriter) February 3, 2016