Florida Woman Arrested For Shooting Missile Into Car Has The Most Florida Name Imaginable

We may have officially reached peak Florida, now that a woman named CRYSTAL METHENEY has been arrested for shooting a missile into an occupied vehicle.

Ms. Metheney was arrested last month after violating Florida statute 790.19, which refers to: “Shooting into or throwing deadly missiles into dwellings, public or private buildings, occupied or not occupied; vessels, aircraft, buses, railroad cars, streetcars, or other vehicles.”

Her arrest set up one of the great inmate pages in recent memory:

To be fair, Crystal didn’t (necessarily) fire a heat-seeking scud into the vehicle, as statute 790.19 uses the non-military definition of “missile.” The statute seeks to nail anyone who “throws any missile or hurls or projects a stone or other hard substance which would produce death or great bodily harm.”

(Polk County Sheriff’s Office; H/T Guyism)

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