During the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, during a commercial break that followed a challenge by the Carolina Panthers, Mountain Dew dropped a commercial that seems engineered in a nightmare laboratory to haunt the dreams of anyone who saw it until the end of time. Ostensibly promoting Mountain Dew’s “KickStart” energy drink, it involves a creepy and deranged small creature made from the parts of a puppy, monkey, and baby dancing around a living room in order to get three college-aged bros to leave their apartment for a night on the town.
Before even acknowledging the most horrific elements of the commercial, I’m pretty sure that if some creature from the depths of “science experiment accident hell” strolled into my living through a secret door in the wall my first reaction would most certainly not be to accept a mystery drink from it with no questions asked. But then things get exceedingly weird, like that the puppymonkeybaby carries a rattle that it shakes like it’s in a Mardi Gras parade and then repeatedly licks the face of one of the guys. Hard pass on that one. Whether it gets people to drink the new product or not remains up in the air, but one thing is for sure: The people in Mountain Dew’s advertising department must be on some really great drugs to think up the puppymonkeybaby.