Those Vintage Nic Cage Sex Photos You Never Knew You Wanted Are On The Loose

Editorial Director
11.13.13 5 Comments

“No. This is not what I look like in them.”

Even ex-girlfriends of beloved-by-the-internet time-traveling vampires can’t trust their handymen. Per The Daily Mail:

Photos of Nicolas Cage and his ex-girlfriend Christina Fulton engaged in sexual activity were allegedly stolen from her home earlier this year and have yet to be recovered.

The intimate pictures were allegedly taken in April by a handyman who broke into Christina’s house.

The 39-year-old handyman, Ricardo Orozco, has been accused of stealing four computers and a box of private photos.

Filled up a whole box, eh? Impressive. And apparently hard to find because the box is still out there. Bet they’re all Polaroid selfies. Nic was always decades ahead of irony.

Cage and Fulton were together from 1988 to 1990 and she’s the mother of his son, Weston. So should said photos hit the internet we’re talking Vampire’s Kiss Nic Cage. Not that that should really matter. Just feels like a necessary distinction in case you mistook Nic Cage for a bait shop owner in the above recent press photo.

UPDATE: Statement from Nicolas Cage per his representatives — “Explicit photos of myself and Ms. Fulton simply do not exist and never have.”

Daily Mail via Gawker. Banner via Getty Image

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