The Feds Were Reportedly Looking For Classified Nuke Dirt At Mar-A-Lago, And People Have The Most Morbid Jokes

No one can deny that it’s been a hell of a week for ex-President Trump and not in a good way. He rolled into New York Attorney General Letitia James office (as part of a civil investigation into the Trump Org’s dealings) and pleaded the Fifth Amendment “hundreds” of times (which says a lot, according to Trump’s past words). Then he let everyone know that the FBI raided his beautiful Mar-a-Lago compound. They likely found a stockpile of ketchup during the resulting search, but more than that, they were reportedly looking for the motherlode to end all motherlodes.

Washington Post is now reporting that one of the bigger items on the FBI’s list happened to be classified nuclear documents. The reports cites unnamed sources, and there’s no confirmation on whether these nuke-focused docs were actually found next to Trump’s favorite golf bag. If this report’s true, it certainly explains why the feds moved fast and partially why Attorney General Merrick Garland’s poker face was not messing around while declaring that he authorized the raid.

All of this, of course, means that we might see Trump pleading the Fifth Amendment again (and again), but he’s already a pro at doing so. One can easily envision Trump wanting to keep nuclear secrets around out of sheer ego, but there’s also the possibility that this could violate the Espionage Act. I mean, after all of Jared Kushner’s dealings with the Saudis, well, this is getting hairy. Regardless, it appears (no matter what kind of claimed ignorance is coming from Trump attorney Christina Bobb) as though there’s a major leak in the Trump dyke because someone wanted this information out there.

And because this is so dark, people naturally are coping with some morbid jokes, including some cinematic wisecracks about Trump-branding on the nukes.

In closing, let’s hope this is simply “comically ridiculous.”