Patton Oswalt is always a welcome presence on the late night television circuit, so fans got a little antsy when it looked like the comedian might miss his spot on Conan due to lateness (traffic?). Oswalt tweeted out a series of videos as he was attempting to make it to the studio, and luckily this story had a happy ending.
Oswalt made it to the studio on time, and thank god he did because we now have a new disgusting analogy to add to our lexicons. Because this is 2017, the conversation eventually moved to President Trump, and Conan asked Oswalt if he thought that the absurdity of Trump lent itself to good comedy. While he admitted that Trump certainly provided a glut of material, there was almost too much to handle, and then he gave us all the grossest analogy:
“Having Trump as a comedian, Trump is like… imagine there’s a guy out on the sidewalk and he’s taking a dump on the pavement and he’s yelling about Hitler. And he’s hanging wallpaper. So you think of the funniest joke about a guy taking a dump on the sidewalk, so you turn to tell your friend about it and behind you, he has scooped up the poop and made a sombrero about it. So you’re about to tell your friend and he’s like ‘dude, he’s moved on.’”
However, Oswalt didn’t stop there, giving viewers the icing on the cake, calling Trump “sour cream in a sauna. There’s no shelf life. You’re running towards it with your chip and NO! It’s spoiled.”
I don’t know about you, but I may be avoiding nachos for a while.