The ‘Perfect Mistress’ Looks Exactly The Way You Think She Does

2014 Women's Leadership Award Honoring Stella McCartney
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This just in: Men enjoy women with perfect and flexible physiques. Seeking Arrangements, where rich, bored, oft-married men find gorgeous women to sleep with, collected data from its nearly 500,000 horny users to discover the “perfect mistress.” She’s a blonde, green-eyed, “sensual” student with a 32D bust, and when she’s not social drinking, she’s doing yoga (needless to say, she’s super white). And she’s NEVER turning 33, the cut-off age for perfection, apparently.

Older than that, she might as well be smoke, which, oh yeah, she’s not allowed to do.

“The woman illustrated in the study is mature enough to understand the dynamic of an affair,” said Seeking Arrangements founder Brandon Wade, “but still young enough to have a youthful exuberance. Plenty of men seek a mistress as the spark outside of wedlock and for some men, the perfect catch is in the form of a yoga-loving student.” This Weird Science-y ala-carte lady person also doesn’t ask to change the channel, or listen to music you’ve deemed “bad,” or, and this is of the utmost importance, talks unless spoke to. Perfect mistress!

I can’t believe that the average guy using Seeking Arrangements, who I imagine looks like this, has a hard time finding a Kate Upton-by-way-of-Margot-Robbie-mixed-with-Emily-Blunt-doing-yoga-in-EdgeofTomorrow type. If there’s no hope for them, what chance do we have?

(Via the Daily Mail)