These People Jerked Their Own Chains In ‘Awesome’ Ways, But Don’t Try This Alone

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10.23.15
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Reddit has been keeping it clean albeit mildly informative lately, much to the dismay of those who wish to be entertained by other people’s confessed, R-rated exploits. Thankfully, a return to form is rarely far away, and Reddit brings it home with these tales of masturbation madness.

When it comes to this subject, many people are simply willing to get the job done. After all, there’s no partner to impress, so why bother pulling out the stops? As it turns out, these Redditors got pretty creative with themselves. Are all of these tales true? You be the judge.

To kick things off, TheyDeletedMe became overwhelmed in the face of the eye of a hurricane. In a potentially life or death situation, he had priorities:

“I once jerked it in the eye of a hurricane, outside and at night. There’s really no grand story behind it, other than I went outside because it had been the only time in a while where it wasn’t stormy. The urge just came over me. I sat down on a bench and ejaculated right at God’s fury.”

FreepostPlus summered in Maui, and his roommate gave him a chocolate-covered mushroom, which inspired some “solitude” and literal tree hugging:

“Behind our bunk house, there were a ton a trails through the woods that were on their lot. It began raining, and for some reason, I decided that I needed to be naked in order to feel the rain and the darkness in the woods. I stripped, and started walking barefoot through the trails. I’m not going to lie, it got pretty weird. I was kissing and hugging trees and enjoying the Maui views. At a certain point, nature must have gotten me pretty excited, and I knew I needed some release. I found an area, gripped a tree with one hand, while pounding off in the other. That will forever go down as one of my favourite memories to date.”

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