The Internet Caught Other People Doing Some Really Crazy, Messed Up Stuff

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The good times rarely stop over at Reddit, and users regularly find ways to one-up their previous threads in terms of messed-up observations. When Redditors are not busy cluing in the opposite sex on what they’re missing or describing their grossest bodily functions, they turn to anonymously humiliating other people. That’s what happened in this newest thread, and thank goodness for user names that contain no traceable information. Here’s what happens when hundreds of Redditors come together to reveal the strangest things they’ve ever witnessed other people doing.

Devgamer reveals a classic “don’t poop at work” scenario:

“Was at an old job, taking a dump when a dude goes into the next stall, faces the toilet, drops his pants and proceeds to sh*t on the floor, pulls pants up and walks out, no wipe. Spent weeks trying to id the shoes.”

LemonFake gives his theory on how those grocery store cans get dented:

“I once turned the corner at the grocery store and saw a guy rubbing his d*ck against a can of crushed tomatoes in the canned foods aisle.”

Leyebrow and his family never spoke of this situation again:

“One time my brother (13 yrs old) was in the bathroom. I (14) noticed water coming out from under the door, and alerted my parents. They had to break down the door and found my brother who had tied his wrists to the water faucet in some sort of sexual masturbation-bondage situation that he couldn’t untie himself from. He had flooded the bathroom and was unable to stop the water.”

Knirefnel‘s account was so unexpected, it’s almost scary:

“Heard a loud noise in my dorm room, went out to the nearby staircase to find a guy in a chicken suit holding a railing that he had just ripped off the wall with his bare hands. Looks me in the eye and says, ‘F*ck the system.'”

Las1K may have known Tom Cruise’s character from Risky Business:

“I once walked out of my room at about 4:30am to catch my roommate wearing only boxer briefs and aviator sunglasses standing in the hallway. He was flexing at himself in the bathroom mirror but needed to stand back to see more of himself. He was also listening to ‘the final countdown’ on his minidisc player if you remember those.”

PostNotSlobKiss‘ roommate invented a hot new brand of porn:

“I walked into my dorm room after being out that night to my roommate shoving a hot sauce bottle down his ass while biting down on my nice hand towels. Acid + shrooms + being into Tabasco porn = me seriously surprised.”

IAccidentallyTheWorld‘s roommate situation took a turn for the awful:

“I walked in on my Freshman roommate being spanked on his bare ass by his mom for not being packed on move-out day. He got a call that morning and I could hear how furious his mom was when he said he wasn’t quite ready to be picked up. It was unexpected though.”

YouFoundDonon found his childhood friend in a compromising position:

“Had a best friend who lived next to me that I would just run over whenever and visa versa to hang out. Walked in on him on his back, naked … feet over his head trying to give himself a blow job. That was ten years ago and we have never spoke about that moment again.”

Wanf explains a classic diversion scenario from a former university RA doing room checks. Someone didn’t check the background of this scene. That’s where the real story must have been:

“There was a kid who once answered the door wearing nothing but a pair of Uggs. What’s stranger is that he had yelled ‘Give me a minute’ beforehand, and in that time he thought it best to not put on pants or a shirt or clothes, but Uggs.”

PepijnLinden‘s story evokes images of Jane’s Addiction’s “Been Caught Stealing” video:

“I once walked in on a guy trying to shove a cucumber up his butt while wearing his older sisters dress. From that day on, I knock before entering.”

codeGrit never figured out what really happened here, which is fine:

“I once caught my [extremely weird] younger cousin standing in the shower with our vacuum cleaner. He was fully clothed and the vacuum was off. He was just standing there, in front of the vacuum. No f*cking idea.”

LoLBilbo surely made this one up, but maybe not?

“I caught my brother fapping to a Ferrari. He’s really into cars.”

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