This Is What The Men Of The Internet Want To Hear Their Women Say When ‘Talking Dirty’


Open any Reddit thread, and you’ll find a variety of folk trying to impress the rest with all manner of wit. These dives into the dankest corners of the internet can reap hilarious stories of porn-scenarios that joined reality. Or a thread can explode into some seriously disturbing secret telling. The bottom of the Internet is the limit, and many stories sound a lot more real than others.

Sometimes, Reddit does keep it real by mining for simple suggestions, such as advice on what men would like to hear women say in the sack. This is exactly what happened on Monday, and the results were enlightening (and funny as hell). Sadly, Reddit did not work the same magic on a gender-swapped counterpoint thread, which figures. Luckily, these guys make plenty of suggestions for ladies to say in the heat of the moment:

Tomcat4u admits he enjoys simple pleasures… like sundresses:

“When she’s wearing a sun dress and once we get home, she goes to me and whisper ‘I’m not wearing any panties.'”

eDgAR makes no secret of the fact that he likes ’em bossy:

“Right after finishing having sex with an ex-girlfriend, I was about to go to sleep and she gets on top of me and says, “Oh, no you don’t, I’m not done with you yet.” It was such a major turn on it was easy to go again even though I was tired.”

ScottWalker2016 knows what he likes, full stop and no shame:

“I like being called daddy, no throwaway. I’m not ashamed.”

Nitimur_In_Vetitum has a variety of helpful suggestions for ladies:

“Whisper his name into his ear, and tell him you like it (if you really do) let him know when he’s hitting your spot, and encourage him to keep going where you like it. Tell him it’s OK to make noise too, because you like it. The sky is the limit here depending on your level of intimacy.”

AberHammer87 had no idea what she said, but he thinks it was good:

“I was dating this Brazilian girl who would switch from English to portuguese when she was about to get off. So hot. Couldn’t understand a word, didn’t care.”

BobisBadAss won a ton of amused comments with this response:

“Ah’m on the rag mate, so jus chuck it in me dumper.”

CoryDuran isn’t really into words as much as necessary mumbles:

“The sexiest thing a girl ever said to me was ‘Mmmm Hmm.’ It happened as I gave her the socially agreed upon warning about what was about to happen in her throat.”

Whalers7997 can be easily woken up with three simple words:

“She said ‘I wanna play’ in a dirty, hot voice. I went from half conscious to fully functioning in no time.”

LetDogsVote may have been joking, unless he loves Monica Geller:

“Oooo, yeah baby. I wanna clean your bathroom and then vacuum all over.”

ARoach1995 has been watching some Spanish soap operas, alright:

“If a Spanish girl calls me papi during sex, then that’s exactly what I’m gonna be because there’s no way I’m pulling out in time.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but Humpt seems to run against the grain:

“One time me and my girlfriend just talked the entire time. Like we just had a normal conversation except in the middle of sex. 10/10 would do again.”

Isaiahmazing is a big fan of SpongeBob SquarePants or something like that:

“Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli”

MountainKing is a sweet guy who may have shocked the wits out of Reddit:

“How much they’re enjoying it. The thing that excites me the most is knowing that my partner is enjoying themself.”

(Via Reddit)