Here Is Everything Rihanna Says in 'Battleship'

Did you think we were done with being snarky about movies based on board games? We aren’t, so of course we’ll point out that The Avengers was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, grossing $55M in its third week to Battleship‘s disappointing $25.3M opening. Both movies had similar budgets. Somewhere, Taylor Kitsch should really be smacking his agent. The dude has potential, but he’s only had one movie score above 50% on Rotten Tomatoes (John Carter at 52%).

But that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here to read every line of dialogue Rihanna utters in Battleship. Because if you’re going to stuntcast a pop star, you’ll at least give them some memorable lines, right? Yeah, about that . . .

Rihanna’s film debut is a memorable one. The Barbadian singer is wet for much of Battleship, her Navy uniform is uncommonly flattering, and the majority of her dialogue is composed of exclamations. It’s a veritable master class in one-line utterances. Most of her lines fall into one of several categories: sassy (“Get up, princess!”), confused (“What the hell is that?”) or surprisingly competent (“Contact two miles out.”) [Vulture]

She had a total of 68 lines of dialogue, not quite enough to fill a novella (ella, ella, eh, eh, eh). Um, anyway, here are all 68 lines.

  • “What’s wrong with you drama queen?
  • “Get up princess! Come on!”
  • “Typical”
  • “Shut up. Shut up.”
  • “Oh, this gon’ be sweet. He hates the man.”
  • “You go mess with him and see what happens!”
  • “Chicken!”
  • “Kentucky Fried Chicken!”
  • “You look like Colonel Sanders, actually.”
  • “Yo Saunders, ever been in a department run by some kind of Donald Trump/Mike Tyson mutant combo?”
  • “Nothing, sir.”
  • “If you did, it was only in reference to the fact the you both project great physical intensity, sir.”
  • “I got something sir, on my camera.”
  • “I don’t know.”
  • “Is this some kind of exercise?”
  • “You ever seen anything like this?”
  • “Weird, man.”
  • “Real bad idea, Lieutenant.”
  • “Lieutenant, get up.”
  • “Lieutenant.”
  • “Come on, you with me?”
  • “Come on, squared away?”
  • “What the hell is that?”
  • “Ahhhhhhh!”
  • “Ahhhhhhh!”
  • “What happened?”
  • “What?”
  • “Who’s in charge?”
  • “Fire control’s offline. I need three minutes.”
  • “(Heavy sigh)”
  • “My dad said they’d come. Said it my whole life. He said one day we’d find them, or they’d find us. Know what else he said? He said, I hope I ain’t around when that day comes.”
  • “No sir!”
  • “Nothing sir, nothing.”
  • “Yo, hey!”
  • “Come on, come on, come on.”
  • “Mahalo, motherfu—”
  • “What the hell is that?”
  • “Sir.”
  • “Roger, Echo 1-1.”
  • “Box 24. Ready to fire.”
  • “India 3-7, locked.”
  • “Sir, we’re hot over here. We’re good to go, let’s light ‘em up.”
  • “Tango 1-9, loaded.”
  • “Whiskey 2-5.”
  • “Negative, sir, it’s moving all over the place. I can’t get a line on it.”
  • “Sucker’s really jumping around.”
  • “40 minutes sir.”
  • “Contact is seven minutes out and closing fast.”
  • “Contact two miles out.”
  • “Contact ETA 21 seconds.”
  • “Boom.”
  • “Yeah!”
  • “Get up!”
  • “Let’s go!”
  • “Go, go, go!”
  • “Yes, sir.”
  • “Oh yes sir.”
  • “Awesome.”
  • “Sir, we’ll be in weapons range in 5 minutes.”
  • “Aimed at target.”
  • “Sir, that’s the wrong direction!”
  • “Sir.”
  • “Coordinates.”
  • “Elevation.”
  • “Come on, take the picture, Beast.”
  • “Navy!”
  • “Come on, Hopper!”
  • “Look dapper!”

Powerful stuff.