Ah, the Roomba. It’s mankind’s greatest invention for portable DJs and cats dressed as characters from Aladdin, and also cleaning up loose Cheerios in your studio apartment. But like everything good in life, things can go horribly wrong. For Jesse Newton, you might even say they turned to… sh*t.
Earlier this month, Newton’s puppy, Evie, did what a lot of puppies do (do), and pooped on the floor during the night. At 1:30 a.m. to be precise. Fortunately, that’s the same time Newton’s Roomba cleans up the house; unfortunately, Roombas aren’t equipped to deal with “droppings.” Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to “the Pooptastrophe. The poohpocalypse. The pooppening.”
Do not, under any circumstances, let your Roomba run over dog poop. If the unthinkable does happen, and your Roomba runs over dog poop, stop it immediately and do not let it continue the cleaning cycle. Because if that happens, it will spread the dog poop over every conceivable surface within its reach, resulting in a home that closely resembles a Jackson Pollock poop painting. (Via)
It can’t be that bad, can it? Oh, it can.
It will be on your floorboards. It will be on your furniture legs. It will be on your carpets. It will be on your rugs. It will be on your kids’ toy boxes. If it’s near the floor, it will have poop on it. Those awesome wheels, which have a checkered surface for better traction, left 25-foot poop trails all over the house. Our lovable Roomba, who gets a careful cleaning every night, looked like it had been mudding. Yes, mudding – like what you do with a Jeep on a pipeline road.
But in poop. (Via)
If you’re really lucky, you’ll wonder why your 4-year-old kid smells like poop before realizing what happened. This is when the real fun started for Newton. He cleaned his child and Roomba, in that order; took out the carpet shampooer; threw away the carpet shampooer because it was a futile attack against the All-Mighty Poop; got out paper towels; hosed the floor; used the steam mop; and finally went back to bed at 6 a.m. He wasn’t done.
Newton also drew this super helpful map.
The moral of the story is: Rosie from The Jetsons deserved a pay raise.