Here’s a dilemma: You’re a tiny tot in a grocery store. You also need to poop really, really badly. What do you do? Well, if you’re the Russian kid in this video (and as a former Russian kid I can confirm that we are all this bad-ass), you put a little spring in your step and do exactly what Taylor Swift says to. That’s right, you poop your pants and then you “shake it off, shake it off.”
Not much is known about the video you’re about to see (which, warning, is very funny, but also very gross), but the footage was allegedly caught on CCTV in a Russian supermarket. Some, Death and Taxes claims, will cry that the video is fake because it’s so perfect (and also because of how well-formed that poop is, right?), but if you’ve ever worked with, lived with, or been around a small child, you know that the thing they’re best at — right after wiping their snot all over your face as a token of their affection — is pooping stealthily and then wandering away like nothing had just come slithering out of their butts.
The best part, of course, is when another shopper, unaware of what had just happened, slides into the poop as if it were a banana peel in Mario Kart. Sure, that guy’s not laughing at the smelly surprise, but the rest of the world is, and that’s all that matters.
(Via Death and Taxes)