Watch This Would-Be Thief Get Thwarted By Dildo-Heaving Sex Shop Employees

Any thief who walks into a store called Lotions & Lace intent on armed robbery is already somebody who’s made some poor life choices and is about to compound them. But this video shows just how poor those choices turned out to be.

The workers at the counter, including a clerk going by “Amy,” didn’t believe the gun was real and frankly were so annoyed at being robbed they decided to resort to the weapons at hand. Hence, the would-be thief found himself getting a taste of the Buffalo lifestyle as he was pelted with dildos even as Amy grabbed another one and began slamming it on the counter, Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels-style.

The thief was so intimidated by the shower of rubber wangs that he fled the store empty-handed. And if that weren’t enough, the guy’s face was caught on surveillance video outside the shop, so police are actively looking for him. So not only did he get stopped by two women with sex toys, he might get arrested and sent to court, where, win or lose, he’ll be Dildo Thief to the internet for the rest of his life. Perhaps his lawyer can plead that’s a far harsher justice than anything the state could provide.

(via ABC7)