Taco Bell Is Giving Away A.M. Crunchwrap Bed Sheets And Pajamas

Tomorrow is the day that so many of us, too lazy to make our own breakfasts at home, have been waiting for. Taco Bell is finally rolling out the highly-anticipated (at least by the handsome gentleman writing this) waffle taco and breakfast menu on a national scale, and what that means for the rest of the fast food world is yet to be determined. Taco Bell will try to claim its own territory in a morning market dominated by McDonald’s, against another giant like Burger King, and even as Taco Bell’s breakfast will run until 11 AM, that doesn’t hold a candle to the folks at Jack in the Box, serving breakfast 24/7.

But the Taco Bell social media machine keeps churning out unique ideas, and just like the custom Speedo that the company made for one loyal customer in the past, Taco Bell is offering a variety of other goods to people with one very interesting catch – you had to have received one of their Breakfast Phones. Only 1,000 of the special Tracfone Samsung T404G burners were sent out, but Taco Bell has been sending orders to those people to perform a task like bragging about those phones on Twitter, or simply just telling them to stop by a store and grab some free food.

It’s a hell of a marketing ploy, and my blood is just boiling at Fire Sauce hot right now that I didn’t get one. If I had, though, I’d be one of the people in the running for these AM Crunchwrap bed sheets and pajamas…

… maybe even this waffle taco hoodie that I could wear to the most formal events…

… and I’d be able to make my car smell like fast food all the time with this Taco Bell air freshener.

In all seriousness, though, I don’t want the phone, sheets or hoodie. All I want is the Volcano Tacos to come back. Please, Taco Bell, look into your corporate heart and make one shameless adult’s dreams come true.