Make no mistake, Terry Crews is a national treasure. Okay, he’s at least an internet treasure. Whether appearing on a late night talk show, warping minds in deodorant commercials, or standing up for gender equality, the guy has been making good internet for several years.
While I’m sure you haven’t forgotten about his domination of the internet, the occasion of Terry Crews’ 47th birthday is an ample opportunity to remind you of all the web gifts he’s provided us. Get ready for a lot of pectoral action.
The most nip-tastic version of “Ebony and Ivory” the world has ever seen.
Terry Crews will never let the world forget that he has imPECcable control over his pectorals. Next to yelling — both for comedic and intimidation effect — it’s his best asset. And Jimmy Fallon has turned The Tonight Show into a stage for celebrity nonsense, so of course he would make use of Crews’ muscles. I’ll admit, there’s something a little unsettling about seeing Jimmy Fallon’s head on the body of a greased-up shirtless male model, and “Ebony and Ivory” is nobody’s favorite song, but that nip control!
Terry Crews was born to lip sync “A Thousand Miles.”
At this point, “A Thousand Miles” no longer belongs to Vanessa Carlton — it’s now a Terry Crews jam all the way. I’m sorry, Vanessa. The same thing happened to “All Along the Watchtower” when Jimi Hendrix came along, and Bob Dylan’s cool with it. We first got a preview of Terry’s fondness for the song in White Chicks, but it wasn’t until earlier this year that he was allowed to put his trademark Crews stamp on it in a lip sync battle against Mike Tyson.
I also suspect that producers pitted Tyson against Crews as a buffer with the hopes of Tyson at least reconsidering beating up his opponent should he lose, which he did.
Terry Crews stands up for the ladies.
Crews is undoubtedly one of the biggest current poster-boys for the Hollywood macho image. He’s proven that he can kick ass just as well as his predecessors Arnold and Sly in The Expendables, and can tap into his funny bone better than both of them. At the same time, Crews is a proud card-carrying feminist, which can probably be a little confusing for angry Redditors of the men’s rights movement. When asked about the backlash of the all-female Ghostbusters cast, Crews championed Kristen Wiig and her co-stars all the way.
Women are great, and funny, and amazing, and smarter than men – for real! – and it’s a reboot that needs to happen. There are SO many good things about that, what can I say? It’s going to be a HIT. And GO LADIES! I’m with you!
Crews has also spoken about the importance of teaching boys how to treat women at various events, and pretty much called “man code” a load of BS and compared it to ISIS. “What kind of mindset is that? Never, never, never, never, never should that ever be accepted. That’s not ‘code.’ That’s Taliban. That’s ISIS.”
In short, Crews is all about lady power and equality.
His disturbingly weird and incredibly awesome Old Spice commercials.
I’m convinced that Terry Crews was created in some Old Spice laboratory back in the 1960s and kept top-secret until the time was right. The man was made for pitching deodorant and aftershave, and everything else he’s done is just a bonus. Before Crews came along, Old Spice was looked at as your grandpa’s deodorant. I know this from experience, because when I pulled out a stick of it in the sixth grade locker room, somebody said, “You smell like my papa,” and I switched brands the very next day. Then, Old Spice pulled the curtain back to reveal Terry Crews, and people started buying the stuff again.
Terry Crews’ Old Spice promotions are the stuff of a marketing exec’s wet dream. They’re both completely original, funny, and interactive. Seriously, if you have 10 minutes to kill, his muscle surprise is a fun waste of time.
His contributions to GIF culture.
Certain celebrities just produce better GIFs than others. It’s not often that one has a need for a Dennis Franz GIF, but Emma Stone, Olivia Munn, Will Ferrell, these humans just are way more GIFable than others. Crews is a shining example of that. Not a week goes by that I don’t find myself using a President Camacho GIF. Let us give thanks to Crews for the bountiful GIFs he’s bestowed upon our internet.