The New Details Of That Palin Family Brawl Involve A Lot More Booze And Violence

Last month, when news surfaced that a massive fight had broken out at a party in Alaska and Sarah Palin’s family was at the center of it all, we couldn’t believe the story. After all, it’s 2014, and we’re supposed to believe that the family of the woman who was almost Vice President of the United States could get into a brawl and not one person at that party would whip out a cell phone and start recording some vertical videos for World Star? Sorry, I just can’t buy that.

But then some details started trickling in and people who were at the party, including the Palins, acknowledged that it indeed happened, and Mama Bear even said that she was proud of her kin for sticking up for the family name and honor. Well, now there’s a 13-page police report available, and the details are foggier than ever, as both sides are predictably telling different stories. Bottom line – there was apparently a lot of booze at this party and wherever the Palins were beforehand, because everyone seemed to think that everyone was wasted.

According to the Smoking Gun, though, it all started with Bristol and the people calling her mean names.

According to cops, Bristol appeared “heavily intoxicated” during questioning, and claimed that she had confronted a woman who had pushed her sister. Bristol claimed that the party’s host was “calling her a cunt and slut” and that she was pushed to the ground and pulled “around on the grass by her feet.”

Witnesses described Bristol as “out of control” and accused her of repeatedly slugging host Korey Klingenmeyer in the face. Klingenmeyer, 39, told police that he was “angry the Palins had showed up and were causing the problems.” He added, “A fight broke out and the Palins ended up losing.”

I assume that once he said that, he held his hand up and one of his bros instinctively high-fived him, before he winked at a non-existent camera. By the time that the police arrived to the party, though, the Palin’s seemed to be in full-on escape mode, as Papa Bear Todd was trying to get Track (a police officer, mind you) the hell out of Dodge. His plan failed, though.

The “angry and intoxicated” Track told cops that “some guys were talking rudely to his sisters, making them cry.” He claimed that the family decided to leave the party. But as they were departing, Track added, a friend of his was sucker punched and knocked to the ground.

“Track said he then confronted one of the guys and said he would fight him, so Track took off his shirt to fight,” a cop reported. However, Track claimed, he was also attacked from behind by a quartet of “skinny white males.”

As his son spoke to police, Todd Palin interjected that when the family’s friend was attacked from behind, “everything escalated and it was a situation they couldn’t walk away from.”

He added, “It’s like that fella Dalton said – be nice until it’s time to not be nice. Y’all seen Road House? F*ckin’ rad movie, right?” As the Smoking Gun Points out, Sarah was not interviewed by the police at any time, at least not for the police report. But more witnesses piled on Bristol and Willow as the instigators, basically confirming that everyone was hammered.

McKenna said that “the problem was that Bristol and Willow were drunk as were their boyfriends.” McKenna added that after Bristol punched the party host “in the face six times,” a “bunch of wives tackled her ass.”

An “extremely agitated” Willow Palin told an officer that the party host had assaulted her sister and that “several guys were on top of her sister when she was on the ground.” Willow claimed that “an older lady” pushed her, and that “people were saying things like ‘Fuck the Palins.’”

Again, how the hell is there no video of this? Probably because someone tried to sell it and learned that it’s priceless.