The Venture Bros. NYCC Panel: Liam Neeson With A Child Bride Fighting Vampires

“The Venture Bros. “press panel at New York Comic Con is easily the most fun panel you can attend if you’re one of the exclusive few bloggers lucky enough to convince the folks that run the con to let you in. The only problem is that as their names suggest, Doc Hammer and Jackson Publick aren’t exactly serious people and give you basically an hour of actual responses intermixed with disinformation made up on the spot. Here are some of their wilder answers to reasonable question, I’ll leave it to you to determine which of their answers might actually be factually accurate.

Press: Can you guys tell us what’s the craziest premise you have coming up next season?

Doc Hammer: Oh my god, they’re all crazy stupid. The craziest premise for next season is…

Jackson Publick: The one we made up on the spot for the last press conference.

Doc Hammer: The craziest premise we came up with is Jackson and I have written entirely with all the action taking place in our heads.

Press: More along the lines of Dark Man then.

Doc Hammer: More along the lines of whatever movie is coming out where he’s fighting wolves with bottles taped to his hands. It’s exactly that except he’s ex-special forces.

Jackson Publick: And vampires ride wolves.

Doc Hammer: And his plane crashes in the middle of the mountains and he’s looking for his bride. You’re never supposed to like him, like he bought a 14-year-old child bride online.

Jackson Publick: You’re not supposed to know that at first.

Doc Hammer: He’s in the back of the plane growling, “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me” then boom plane crash. The plane crashes and he’s in the back of the plane for the first three acts.

Jackson Publick: Virtually everyone else on the plane is ex-special forces.

Doc Hammer: They’re all being picked off by vampires that ride wolves. And he finally stands up and says, “We’ve got to bone up!” And he starts taking the corpses they’ve been eating and makes a suit out of bones.

Jackson Publick: So he can defend himself out from the vampires. And he makes weapons out of the commemorative shot glasses he’s been buying in every airport for his child bride. Growling, “She’s always wanted to see Madison.”

Doc Hammer: At the end he finds out his child bride is a vampire.

Jackson Publick: That’s a good twist ending.

Doc Hammer: Right at the border there’s this terrible room filled with armed guards and he’s like, “I just want to make love to my child bride!” And she can either be a Dracula or there can be a terrible sex scene of old Liam Neeson trying to make love to his bride.

Jackson Publick: So we’re writing that for the next year.

Press: When I watched the first season I kept thinking, what is this, are these guys on shrooms and watching Johnny Quest?

Doc Hammer: We weren’t on shrooms but we were watching lots of Johnny Quest.

Press: Did the Sovereign kill Brock’s brother?

Doc Hammer: For a second I thought, who’s Brock?

Jackson Publick: Is your question did that ever happen in our show? Because the answer is no.

Press: But did you ever think about it?

Doc Hammer: I just did when you said it.

Press: Do you have character story arcs planned?

Doc Hammer: We had some larger arcs, we had some smaller arcs. We had some arcs that didn’t exist that we write a script and we have to retcon in an arc.

And we have a big giant arc that we don’t talk about. We have a master plan.

Press: Last year you had Kevin Conroy on the show, do you have any special guests planned for this year?

Jackson Publick: We’re just writing the show right now. If the characters call for it, I’m trying to figure out who to cast for one or two characters.

Doc Hammer: We’ll find somebody who makes us look cool.

Press: Were there elements you wanted to include that will continue on into the series?

Doc Hammer: We do have jokes that we want to put in.

Jackson Publick: It does usually take two seasons to put something in the show. Like, oh I want to do an Iron Man type guy and then we never get to it.

Doc Hammer: Then Iron Man becomes no longer topical and we put it in as a call back to Iron Man. Oh, remember when Iron Man was big?

Jackson Publick: Or we want to do it and someone makes a movie out of that. Are people going to think we’re just parody? Have we become topical?

Press: Would you ever consider making an entire episode in the Rusty Venture cartoon style?

Doc Hammer: I’d love to but it would probably never happen.

Jackson Publick: We’d love to do.

Doc Hammer: Any of these hypotheticals, would you like to do a spin off? Yeah, we love writing for our characters. You can’t come up with a dumb enough idea that we aren’t like, yeah that sounds great!