Tiffany Haddish Tells Stephen Colbert Why She Believes That ‘Batteries Are A Girl’s Best Friend’

News & Culture Writer
09.21.18

Fresh off her big Emmy win for hosting Saturday Night Live last year, the always delightful Tiffany Haddish sat down with Stephen Colbert on Thursday night to discuss her whirlwind career, and new movie with Kevin Hart coming out next week, Night School. And being that the Girls Trip star is so in demand these days, Colbert asked Haddish if she’s had to make any personal sacrifices — what, with working all of the time.

“I’ve kept up with most everything but I haven’t been dating, so my relationships, my personal relationships haven’t been that good,” she admitted to Colbert. “But I have been keeping up with my weighted blanket and my toys that I get off of Groupon.”

“And batteries. Batteries are a girl’s best friend,” she added, to laughter and cheering from the audience. “I like how the band lookin’ at me trying to figure out, what is she talking about?”

“I’ll add myself to that list,” Colbert quipped, although it seems pretty clear that everyone knew exactly what she was talking about. She continued to explain however, when Colbert asked what she meant by a weighted blanket:

A weighted blanket is a blanket that is like filled with, I think, sand. I’m not sure what the material is. It’s, like, 25 pounds, right? And you can throw that over your legs, and then you spray a little cologne over it and throw it over your arms and it feel like a man is holding you. And you snuggle up in it like this right here, like that right there. And then you open up your night stand drawer, put your batteries in … and go to sleep!

“Exactly, because you’ve got your reading light, you’re gonna read a book before you go to bed,” Colbert played along. “And then you don’t have to make him breakfast or talk to the weighted blanket or nothing,” Haddish joked.

The only question that remains is what janky-ass “reading light” is Haddish using that still takes batteries? Someone hook this woman up with one of those newfangled rechargeable, waterproof models so she can … uh, read in the bathtub!

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