Waitress Michelle Thomas spends her spare time curating other people’s stories. After a disastrous encounter with a Tinder date, she finds herself with an unbelievable tale of her own.
Michelle recently hit it off with a Tinder match. They met in a pub, shared a few drinks, moved onto dinner, and the conversation flowed. He even kissed her goodnight, so she didn’t expect what happened the next day. The unnamed fellow dropped a needlessly long letter that detailed his criticisms with Michelle’s body. You can read the full letter on Michelle’s blog, but here are the most brutal excerpts:
Thanks for a wonderful evening last night. I really enjoyed your company and actually adore you. You’re cheeky and funny and just the sort of girl I would love to go out with if only my body and mind would let me. But I fear it won’t.
I’m not going to bullsh*t you… I f*cking adore you Michelle and I think you’re the prettiest-looking girl I’ve ever met. But my mind gets turned on by someone slimmer. Shallow? It’s not meant to be. It’s the same reaction you get when you read a great author or see an amazing image, or listen to a piece of music you love, it has that instant reaction in you that makes you crave more.
So whilst I am hugely turned on by your mind, your face, your personality (and God…I really, really am), I can’t say the same about your figure. So I can sit there and flirt and have the most incredibly fun evening, but I have this awful feeling that when we got undressed my body would let me down. I don’t want that to happen baby. I don’t want to be lying there next to you, and you asking me why I’m not hard.
There are certain triggers that fire my imagination into life and your wit and intelligence are the beginning of that process which would inevitably end up in the bedroom. With just one result….